Dont look into my eyes...

The pangs of lonliness
Pull the tears from my disguise
Salty drops of water
Laugh on my life's lies..

I've painted my picture
With glass and colourful dyes
See me through it, if you want ~
But dont look into my eyes...

Ab to...

Bhatakte kadam

Bojhal aankhein

Sadiyon ki pyaas....

Ab to ye registan khatm kar...... ya phir ye talaash.......

Nothing is permanent except change...

What was yesterday is not today, what is today will not be tomorrow. We all know it. The good thing about bad things is that they come to an end and the bad thing about good things is that they too come to an end. We all know this too. But then why is it that its so difficult for us to accept changes? Why is it that knowing well the effervescent nature of things, we still want them to last forever?

A beautiful pink rose bud comes on my rose plant. I see it, admire it, see it grow and bloom into a beautiful flower. Love its colours and smell its fragrance. With time the flower dries up and withers away. But why should i cry over its loss, I should be happy that till the time it lasted i could see it, touch it, smell it with my whole being. I have taken in the beauty of that flower so fully and completely that even when it is not there physically, it is living in my senses. This is acceptance of change with grace.

The beauty of sun at the time of sunset is magical, but again it is momentary. The whole drama of the intense colours lasts for a few minutes. The sun is sure to set after that. It would be foolish to wish the play of colours to last forever. But someone with the right thinking would feel grateful for having witnessed such a beautiful phenomenon, for having being one with it, even for only a few moments, and would be able to accept the change of the sun's bright glow to stars' twinkling beauty.

Beautiful, ecstatic moments in life ~ come and go. Without the need to cling on to them and wishing them to last forever, the right way is you feel them, live them, be grateful for them and then cherish them ...

Broken mirror

I am shattered,
My pieces are scattered,
Dont touch me, I'm in pain,
Dont join me, I dont want to be shattered again..........

Floating...

Floating in the open sky,

My orange wings dipped in its blue....

Can feel its tenderness and care,

And hear my heart singing too...

Searching for happiness...

Was feeling low a couple of days back, which had obviously not happened for the first time. Also when i see around me, i find people feeling low, depressed every now and then. It just got me thinking ~ Why are we not as happy as we all should be, as we all deserve to be? Why round the corner of every happy lane, there is sadness hiding to pounce upon us whenever possible?

I think its because we are looking for happiness in the wrong places ~ in achievements, in fun vacations, in our realtionships with other people, in anything that gives a boost to our egos. But the bad news is that however good a vacation, it does end, and however big an achievement is, its joy eventually fades, and however good a realtionship is, it has its bad days.So, when this happens then what do we do? We find ourselves in a state or boredom or depression. Nothing around us interests us. One day we were ecstatic and finding everything perfect and the other day we are low and lost and find nothing worth. This happens because we had centered our happiness on something. When that thing was gone, our happiness also went along with it.

So what is the solution?

I think is to find happiness inside ourselves only. If we are happy and content with ourselves, if we are at peace with our ownself then nothing happening outside us can bother us. We need to free ourselves from all negativities, self doubts and fear of tomorrow; and fill our soul with love and compassion for everyone.

Rather than counting on any materialistic or emotional extravanganza for our happiness, we need to find happiness in the simple things of life ~ a golden sunrise from the window, a warm hug from someone close, listening to the pitter-patter of rains with a hot tea, feeling the breeze play on your face; getting inside a warm bed on a cold night...

When we can feel happy just by looking at a flower blooming or a child playing, we can know that we have touched some chords of the true source of happiness inside us...

Lie and trust…

How do you react when someone very close to you lies to you, and you know that he is lying ?

I feel there could be two approaches ~

1) Pretend that you dont know that the person is lying, to avoid a situation or avoid the hurt that would follow.
Or

2) Confront the person and tell him on the face that you know the truth.

Since anything that causes hurt, leads to a flared reaction, my normal, instant reaction would have been to feel hurt and tell the person on the face that I know the truth, and ask him why did he have to lie to me….

But on second thoughts, i feel what purpose would that serve? There could be a couple of reasons for which a person would have lied to me. Either he has something to hide, or there's a guilt inside him or he doesnt trust me enough to tell me the truth, or….. maybe all ! In either of the case, isn’t it more about his own negativities? Where am I in this? Why should I confront him on this, and lead to a useless rounds of accusations, defendings and explanations…more negativities….

This leads me another pertinent question ~ Would this situation arise if there is true closeness and honesty between two people? I don’t think so…If two people are really close, none of them would ever find a situation where one has to lie to the other. And even if one does, the other will never ask for any explanations. That is what real trust is all about…

After this introspection, I feel in the above situation there could be a third approach too ~ An approach of trust and forgiveness….

And if I have to choose my reaction, where the other person matters to me, I would choose the third approach. Yes, even if there would be a question on the truth of the closeness from both sides, I would stick to the honesty and trust on my part and choose not ask for any explanations….

Love - winning and losing

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose ~ the next best.
-William Makepeace

How true...!

Read these line somewhere and it got me thinking. When we talk of 'love', where is any place of 'winning' or 'losing'? Love is not a game where you win or lose. If 'winning' means getting the other person to love you back, then you are not loving, you are satisfying your own ego. If 'losing' means the person not loving you back equally then too, what is your loss? You love not to get into a business deal, where you give something to get something in return. You love because you cant help it. Beacuse love is that stream of joy which flows from your heart by itself. If its love that we are talking about, then it should be like that stream ~ just happy to be flowing....

Blow the candles...

Blow the candles…
And celebrate the birth of a death
Blow them off,
Before it lives for another illusion

Blow the candles…
And let the darkness stab my heart
Blow them off
And let the smoke choke my soul

Blow the candles…
And end the games
Of the wicked flame,
My weary eyes are tired now………

If only I could find a cupboard
I’d get in quietly,
And sleep in it forever.........

The end

With nothing to smile for,
Everyday I tell myself a new lie...
With nothing to live for,
Why dont i die......??
The day has ended
Much before the night,
The music's over
I want to turn off the light.................

Journey or destination...

Parallel tracks of the train ~
Moving together, what do they gain..?
Talking to them without a mask,
"Do you ever meet" I had to ask.

"Does it matter?" the return question
"Do you believe in journey or destination?
Together so much in every terrain,
We shine in the same sun,
And gleam in the same rain;
Still alone in our own way
Never coming in each other's way,

Far in the horizon we may seem to be nearer,
But here in the now we are together;
Any dream is alive till it shatters,
Ours is living, isn't that all that matters?"

I nod in agreement with them and with me,
Yes, it's not the destination, its always the journey...

Love is not a relationship...

Came across this beautiful passage about 'love and relationship' by OSHO.....liked it and could completely relate to it ~

LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun. And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?

You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate.

In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating not a relationship. It will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said...

I'm orange and you are blue...

The mosaic of all colours
Fighting for space,
Are suddenly quiet today...

"I'm orange and you are blue,
And purple is the blend of the two"
Is resonating in yesterday...

Today I have opened my eyes to see ~
A white dove flying on a deep blue sea
The orange sun is shining through,
Painting the dove a golden hue

Flying in this golden white light,
Now the dove has attained a newer height,
The mosaic of colours are merged today,
Into a pure, white, calm ray.....
Blending in itself my orange and your blue,
Filling my soul with a fragrance new

Breathing that fragrance and thinking white,
I fill my eyes with the dove's flight
But yes, this also remains true,
Whenever I'll see blue,
I'll think of you...

When the music's over...

The pitter-patter of the rain goes on,
I strain my ears to hear a song....

But the song has ended, and I must realize
Destiny has again rolled her dice....

Every sound's fading one by one,
Getting lost in oblivion

Pained existence has resurfaced
A jigsaw of memories to be put in place

When the music is over, a silence piles
Muffles the soul and strangles the smiles

Teary eyed my heart cries,
Bit by bit as the music dies............

Nice to meet you Harry Potter...

Just finished reading the first book of Harry Potter; when the whole world already has raved, raged and finally done with even the last book of the series! So, after reading the book, when most of the people would have taken the short cut of watching the movie, now i officially belong to the section of the world where harry potter is revered, you-know-who is feared, where cats have names like Mr. Norris and owls with their postman service have found some utility for their existence on this planet. Where there are two completely different worlds existing together~ one ~ plain, simple, conventional, monotonous world of us humans (who are called muggles) and another exciting, magical, always-full-of-surprises world of wizards and witches ! And i realise to my major disappointment that i belong to the unexciting world of the humans, which i share with the likes of Uncle Vemon, Aunt Petula and Dudley, and worse still i am also a muggle !

It must be obvious to the reader by now that i am getting fixed on the harry potter mania, which honestly speaking, i had not expected even by the time i was half way through the book. But by the time i have finished it, I have somehow developed an affinity with that magical world and its characters. I have developed a liking for the bravery and truth of the character of harry, the mischieviousness and wit of ron, the intelligence and know-all attitude of hermione, the funny comments and the twinkle of dumbeldore's eyes. I also liked how snape's character was framed and how it changes shades by the end, and also noticed how much scope there is left by the writer for many more changes in his character. At this point i believe, that in the remaining books after harry potter's character his character is the one which will evolve the maximum.

So, after finishing the first book, i am having a desire to know what happens next. But before that i would definitely want to see the movie made on the first book. And see how the characters, scenes and situations are picturised in the movie vis-a-vis as described in the book and also vis-a-vis as imagined by me in my mind. Guess, it should be fun.

The plant of me ~

Wonder where the end would be,
Of the restless wanderings of my mind,
Of the relenltess searchings of my soul,
For myself, my fulfillment,
My sensibilities, my sensitivities,
My inside, my essense,
My search........
For a river of passions and imaginations,
To flow in ~
And water the plant of me......

A kaleidoscope rotated ~ The first rotation

A kaleidoscope rotated ~ Had been wanting to keep this name for my photography exhibition. But since due to few reasons could not keep it, so ~ here i go making it the name of my blog ! :-) But off-course, that is not the only reason. Since the time i had seen a kaleidoscope in my childhood, i have been fascinated by it...with its bright colours and the beautiful shapes... ! and as i grew older my fascination with the kaleidoscope extended to the fact that at any given point of time when a kaleidoscope is rotated, there are endless possibilities of the combination of colours and shapes to create a pattern...with each rotation a bright, colourful, unique new pattern is churned out.

The randomness of the possibilities is a kicker...!

Isnt it something like our mind..? Do we ever know at what point of time which pieces of glass will fall where and how, and which thoughts will take shape on our minds....?

In this blog, hoping to pen down the rotations of my mind's kaleidoscope and see for myself which colours of me have creates which shapes..................

The randomness of possibilities remains a kicker here too.....!