“I’m not upset…you don’t have the power to upset me...you don’t matter that much…” Kate Winslet says in the movie “The Reader” to Ralph Fiennes.
Those who don’t matter to us can’t upset us…I agree with this. Why should I be affected by someone’s behavior towards me whom I don’t consider important enough..? Why should I let even small seeds of negativity germ inside me by the words or actions of those who don’t count..? But on saturday at work someone not at all significant in my life did something and I got upset...! I guess the person didn’t matter, but by what he did, my self respect (maybe ego..) got hurt... and I reacted accordingly…didn’t show my hurt in an outrageous way, but walked out of the scene. Wouldn’t have left, had this thought of him hurting my ‘I’ had not come into my min...
now feeling somewhat bad about my own reaction...
Reflecting on the whole thing on how differently I should have reacted I feel that I should have stayed positive, I should not have let my equilibrium be disturbed any bit at all…I should have thought that let him think and behave in anyway he wishes ~that is the choice that he is making...I should not have let my false ‘I’ come in the picture…and should have chosen to stay in my undisturbed positive frame of mind…
The road is long ~ full of pebbles of different shape, and turn...
The journey’s just begun, Miles and miles ahead to learn...
One lesson learnt...hope to remember it...
8 comments:
Don't upset by words...
We don’t have control over our external world, but our internal world is totally in our hand. If the two together are required to make a failure, if the two together is required to give us blow, we will not contribute my percentage and how then can the blow come? Nobody can upset us until we want to upset ourselves, same as happiness. It is just within us. Need little bit of control over mind and everything is in our hand. Now, if we know how to control the mind from external stimuli then the judgment will always in the right track. Queer isn’t it? Practice, practice and some infinitesimal amount of control power will come.
Suppose someone says, Jagriti is such and such girl. What or say how those words affect you. We can observe that the words are simply static, but when it passes through our receptors and reach our brain, our mind process the whole thing according to our conditioned nature and eventually it will react in a specific way.
Jagriti...I understand the desire for complete nirvana, complete detachment from emotions considered negative and responses that can impede the path to the place of easy contentment.
Yet I have found that a part of contentment is in not labeling the emotion, feeling or reaction to the action of others as a negative emotion. Feel them, meditate from the place you are whether it be joy or sadness, peace or anger and look at the visions found therein.
We are complex characters regardless of how much of the "I" we shed, there is still complexity and hurt, anger, pain, joy, love, peace; all go into the mix that leads us to that space within of enlightened response to the world around.
If you can go to sleep at night knowing that you have moved a day forward then nothing more can be asked. Tell me which of the sages never felt the emotion you are trying to kill within?
Be Well that is all simply be well.
@shubhajit: you r right...it is strange how we want ourselves to be unaffected by the unpleasant external stimuli but are willing to feel good by good things happening to us, or as you said good things being said about us...
i guess our constant attempt should be to be free from this conditioning of the mind…to create such a lake of peace inside us which is not disturbed by anyone throwing any pebbles from outside...
@the walking man: I agree... today's sages were yesterday's 'jagriti', 'subrojit' or 'walking man'…but I guess they finally did achieve what we have just stated understanding…I think I understand what u r saying, if we can actually observe our thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions like with a detachment ~ like someone looking through the window at the clouds moving on the sky; changing form, colour, speed, direction; then we might be able to achieve that state of detachment from the illusion of 'I'...
Jagriti, it is important to control our negative feelings to a certain degree, especially in public, but at some point when we're alone, we must face them and deal with whatever it is they're trying to teach us. It's not about denying them altogether but learning from them, and eventually, moving on...healed and stronger.
Great post, my friend! :)
Feeling better about the whole now?
@scarlet: thanks scarlet, gald u liked the post. Am trying to remember the lessons learnt and to live them out too...
@walking man: yep..sure am :)the thought is getting a body and form.
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