I was soft, white and pure, glistening in the soft golden sunlight and peaceful under the starry sky. I was tranquil and joyful. Not having anything, not wanting anything, I was above every need or desire. There was a deep blue sky around me, embracing me. I knew no pain, no sorrow no hate...my head was bowed and my spirit was high, in surrender, in solace, in love, in ecstacy of oneness with the universe.
And then a powerful wind blew, and I started changing, melting, moving and flowing. Gliding down the mountains in the wide emptiness. I didnt know what was happening. I was separated from my tranquility, my existance, my everything. Without any control I was flowing in rhythm and vigour. Initially I was confused and scared. But then gradully I started enjoying the ride. Looking around me I saw the tall trees, their dark barks and their glistening leaves. I could smell them and feel the intoxication. I could see colourful flowers and feel their softness. They were all calling out to me, fondling me, playing with me. I was feeling overwhelmed and I started playing with them. Sprinkling on them my whiteness and and teasing them with my cool bubbles. I was happy again. I wanted to play with them forever. Hear their praises for me and feel their love for me.
But soon I found they were going away from me. I was moving and they were not. I couldnt stop and they couldnt flow. I was feeling sad. I wanted them. I needed them. I wanted to be loved and desired and I wanted to play with them, to feel happy. There were rocks in my way. They made my flowing difficult. I didnt know what to do with them. They were making me struggle and I didnt know how to. Gradually I learnt that I couldnt move them, I had to make my way through them. I had to accept them and learn to be patient and tolerant. My friends the trees, the grass and the flowers couldnt have help me. I was alone in my journey and it was upto me to wind my way through those boulders. It was my lesson and I had to learn it. I started accepting the rocks and made friends with them. My persistence payed ~ They smoothened out and my journey became comfortable and enjoyable. I was happy again. I had learnt a lesson and I intended to remember it
As I flowed on, I found myself mellowing down. I was no more burstling and bubbling and teasing. I was maturing. There were green and golden fields around me, waving to me in the soft breeze. There was red and black soil on my banks, clinging to me like children to their mother. There were children playing in my lap, sprinking my cool water over each other. Jumping in my open arms and embracing me. There were tired, thirsty travellers, feeling calm and fulfilled by drinking my cool, clean water. I started feeling an overflowing love for them all. I started pouring myself into them. I gave myself completely, they flourished, I learnt the joys of giving. They were happy and so was I. They needed me and I felt I belonged.
But I knew this joy wasnt forever. I was still moving, flowing, not knowing where I was headed to. I had forgotten where I had come from and what I was earlier. All I knew was that I was the life force of that terrain. I was attached to the childern playing on my banks, to the women filling their buckets from me, farmers who depended on me for their crop. I was attached to the soils that clung on to me, to the leaves that fell onto me from the trees, and floated gracefully over me. But I knew that a time would come when I would move on and would have to leave all of this behind. But why? For what? This was my world. Why did I have to leave it. I felt like I had been there forever. The question keep bothering me. And the fear of losing everything one day kept troubling me.
One day a wandering saint came over to my bank to wash his tired face, hand and feet. He sat by my banks with his eyes closed, and I saw his illuminated face ~ tranquil and joyful, without any need or desire. It reminded me of something. For a moment something stirred inside me, and I felt a longing for something. It seemed something of my own, but I couldnt understand what was it that I was reminded of. I felt an overpowering need to ask him about this, about myself, who I was and where was I going, what was the purpose of my existance. Why did have to keep separating from everything I get attached to. Why did my joys not last forever. The saint slowing opened his eyes, and looking at me, he smiled ~ a peacful, loving, all-knowing smile. And then he said, "Oh pure river, enjoy this journey of yours, love, give, take, but dont get attached, dont forget what you are, where you've come from, and where you are going. Your journey is for your purification, for learning the lessons which are yet to be learnt, not for being attached to anything that touches your banks. In this journey you've learnt acceptance, tolerance, persistence and selflessness. You've learnt how to give selflessly and how to love truly. You've learnt to spread happiness. You've learnt how to take eveything that comes your way and keep flowing in your flow. You have learnt many lessons but there are a few yet to be learnt, and so you must keep flowing and be yielding. You are a part of the purest and at the end of your journey you will be unified to that purest. Flowing through different terrains, living through different experiences, one day you will reach your true destination and merge into that Ocean of love and purity. And from there you will be distilled into your true form, where there is everlasting joy. So keep flowing, oh river, but dont forget who you truly are. Always remember the golden gleam that used to touch your whiteness in your purest form, when you knew no need or desire, when you were truly joyful." Saying this the saint smiled again and went on his way.
And suddenly I remembered what the saint's tranquility had reminded me of. I could feel the blue sky embracing me, the pure whiteness around me and that feel of oneness with the universe. Immense joy started flowing through my waters and illuminated I started dancing with joy. The fields started singing for me, the children around my banks started clapping joyfully, and the trees and the wind started dancing with me. I had found who I was and where I was headed to. With this knowledge, I started flowing more gracefully and more lovingly. Loving everything, but not getting attached.
In this journey I am going to learn my lessons, and one day I am going to merge with my Ocean. I am going to find my true form. I am going to merge in that everlasting joy.
This is what my journey is all about.... Isnt this yours too?