Sunday, August 9, 2009

A river spoke to me...

I was soft, white and pure, glistening in the soft golden sunlight and peaceful under the starry sky. I was tranquil and joyful. Not having anything, not wanting anything, I was above every need or desire. There was a deep blue sky around me, embracing me. I knew no pain, no sorrow no head was bowed and my spirit was high, in surrender, in solace, in love, in ecstacy of oneness with the universe.

And then a powerful wind blew, and I started changing, melting, moving and flowing. Gliding down the mountains in the wide emptiness. I didnt know what was happening. I was separated from my tranquility, my existance, my everything. Without any control I was flowing in rhythm and vigour. Initially I was confused and scared. But then gradully I started enjoying the ride. Looking around me I saw the tall trees, their dark barks and their glistening leaves. I could smell them and feel the intoxication. I could see colourful flowers and feel their softness. They were all calling out to me, fondling me, playing with me. I was feeling overwhelmed and I started playing with them. Sprinkling on them my whiteness and and teasing them with my cool bubbles. I was happy again. I wanted to play with them forever. Hear their praises for me and feel their love for me.

But soon I found they were going away from me. I was moving and they were not. I couldnt stop and they couldnt flow. I was feeling sad. I wanted them. I needed them. I wanted to be loved and desired and I wanted to play with them, to feel happy. There were rocks in my way. They made my flowing difficult. I didnt know what to do with them. They were making me struggle and I didnt know how to. Gradually I learnt that I couldnt move them, I had to make my way through them. I had to accept them and learn to be patient and tolerant. My friends the trees, the grass and the flowers couldnt have help me. I was alone in my journey and it was upto me to wind my way through those boulders. It was my lesson and I had to learn it. I started accepting the rocks and made friends with them. My persistence payed ~ They smoothened out and my journey became comfortable and enjoyable. I was happy again. I had learnt a lesson and I intended to remember it

As I flowed on, I found myself mellowing down. I was no more burstling and bubbling and teasing. I was maturing. There were green and golden fields around me, waving to me in the soft breeze. There was red and black soil on my banks, clinging to me like children to their mother. There were children playing in my lap, sprinking my cool water over each other. Jumping in my open arms and embracing me. There were tired, thirsty travellers, feeling calm and fulfilled by drinking my cool, clean water. I started feeling an overflowing love for them all. I started pouring myself into them. I gave myself completely, they flourished, I learnt the joys of giving. They were happy and so was I. They needed me and I felt I belonged.

But I knew this joy wasnt forever. I was still moving, flowing, not knowing where I was headed to. I had forgotten where I had come from and what I was earlier. All I knew was that I was the life force of that terrain. I was attached to the childern playing on my banks, to the women filling their buckets from me, farmers who depended on me for their crop. I was attached to the soils that clung on to me, to the leaves that fell onto me from the trees, and floated gracefully over me. But I knew that a time would come when I would move on and would have to leave all of this behind. But why? For what? This was my world. Why did I have to leave it. I felt like I had been there forever. The question keep bothering me. And the fear of losing everything one day kept troubling me.

One day a wandering saint came over to my bank to wash his tired face, hand and feet. He sat by my banks with his eyes closed, and I saw his illuminated face ~ tranquil and joyful, without any need or desire. It reminded me of something. For a moment something stirred inside me, and I felt a longing for something. It seemed something of my own, but I couldnt understand what was it that I was reminded of. I felt an overpowering need to ask him about this, about myself, who I was and where was I going, what was the purpose of my existance. Why did have to keep separating from everything I get attached to. Why did my joys not last forever. The saint slowing opened his eyes, and looking at me, he smiled ~ a peacful, loving, all-knowing smile. And then he said, "Oh pure river, enjoy this journey of yours, love, give, take, but dont get attached, dont forget what you are, where you've come from, and where you are going. Your journey is for your purification, for learning the lessons which are yet to be learnt, not for being attached to anything that touches your banks. In this journey you've learnt acceptance, tolerance, persistence and selflessness. You've learnt how to give selflessly and how to love truly. You've learnt to spread happiness. You've learnt how to take eveything that comes your way and keep flowing in your flow. You have learnt many lessons but there are a few yet to be learnt, and so you must keep flowing and be yielding. You are a part of the purest and at the end of your journey you will be unified to that purest. Flowing through different terrains, living through different experiences, one day you will reach your true destination and merge into that Ocean of love and purity. And from there you will be distilled into your true form, where there is everlasting joy. So keep flowing, oh river, but dont forget who you truly are. Always remember the golden gleam that used to touch your whiteness in your purest form, when you knew no need or desire, when you were truly joyful." Saying this the saint smiled again and went on his way.

And suddenly I remembered what the saint's tranquility had reminded me of. I could feel the blue sky embracing me, the pure whiteness around me and that feel of oneness with the universe. Immense joy started flowing through my waters and illuminated I started dancing with joy. The fields started singing for me, the children around my banks started clapping joyfully, and the trees and the wind started dancing with me. I had found who I was and where I was headed to. With this knowledge, I started flowing more gracefully and more lovingly. Loving everything, but not getting attached.

In this journey I am going to learn my lessons, and one day I am going to merge with my Ocean. I am going to find my true form. I am going to merge in that everlasting joy.

This is what my journey is all about.... Isnt this yours too?


the walking man said...

In my journey the beauty is not being the river alone but all that is in it, over it, under it, all that bathes in the flow, and all that swims within the depths. there is everything in being nothing and nothing in being everything.

I like when the river is angry as much as I am at peace in the calmness of the movement.

Like your saint said, why attach yourself to anything. There is no loss if there is no attachments and there is union in in allowing everything to be as it is at the moment we encounter it.

This is a well said piece of the understanding of yours at this moment, may it only grow stronger in it's trace to the oceans depths.

Shubhajit said...

I admit that it is a pretty good writing.

The saint with illuminated face had one desire. And that was to get rid of all desires. Or the saint fulfilled his desire and there was no desire left. But how we work if no desire is there? Then perhaps we can work freely, without any bondage, like a stranger in a strange land but still we have to work because work is inevitable. Isn't it? No food drops from the sky because we attain freedom, even we are continuously working in our thoughts also.

Lets, see how you and I reach that freedom in which path. Let's try once!

Jagriti said...

@walking man: i agree with you about living like a river in its totality and in the moment...

@ shubhajit: this is a dilemma ~ to have a desire of not having any desires..! but i've found my answer in this ~ just flowing freely and lovingly in each and every moment...and not bothering ourselves too much with the questions and the outcomes...looking at everything happening around impassively like the scenes of a movie...and thus enjoying the journey the destination will be reached even without the realization of it...

I thank you both for your comments and your views.

We all are headed towards the same destination, flowing in our totality, through different terrains...taking in different experiences and different learnings...forming our own perceptions,developing our own understanding...having our own questions to find answers for, our own struggles to face, our own milestones to reach...

Here's wishing all of us a beautiful, enjoyable, fulfilling and meaningiful journey ahead...

Capt. Anup Murthy said...

Beautifully written, like the river has soul and I believe it does, like our lives. I came through Jalan-Jalan (Yosee's) blog and just loved your articles and photos. Fabulous.

Jagriti said...

Thank you glad you liked it here.

"Earth wind and rain and fire,
Wealth power love desire,
One goal to live for before we die,
One taste of glory,
One mouthful of sky..."