Staring into time...

Thats my grandfather. He's 86 and still going reasonably strong ~ In the spirit that is. Though he's not strong enough physically to walk much, every evening he sits in the parking of our apartments and keeps gazing at the street ~ at people coming, going, children playing, shouting, laughing. Every day when I return from work he's sitting there. When people moving around him dont even have a moment to stop and look at him gazing into the spaces of life, wonder what goes in his mind ~ Does he think of his childhood ? His youth ? The good and and bad experiences of life ? His realized and unrealized dreams ? The calculations of gain and loss of life...?

As I take a moment to stop and be in this moment with him, without him being aware of it, a thought suddenly comes to my mind ~ What would I be doing when I will be so old ? Would I be happy with the way I have lived? Would I have any regrets? Sitting like this then, would I be at peace with myself ? And then the decision comes ~ I will live my life in a way that at a time when all I will be able to do is gaze into space and time, and do calculations of my gain and loss ~ I would be able to say ~ Who cares about the gains and losses ! I have lived this life as it should have been lived ~ fully, truly and soulfully and that is all that matters... the silence inside me would not matter then, because I would have heard and played the music of LIFE...

When the music's over, turn off the light...

Tea and music ~




...an unbeatable symphony.

Soft lights,
Solitude of the night,
Soaking in the feel of
Eddie Rabbit singing ~
"I love a rainy night..."

Beatles singing ~
"All you need is love..love is all you need"
Agreed. But where do you find it..?!?

And then~

"Hey, Jude, dont make it bad, take a sad song and make it better....
And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain,
Dont carry the world upon your shoulder..."

One more round of tea hearing to the mushy, velvety voice of Norah Jones humming~

"Money's just something you throw, Off the back of a train,
Got a handful of lightening, A hat full of rain,
And I know that I said I'd never do it again,
And I love you sweet baby... but I always take the long way home"

And then Don williams ~

"I dont believe in heaven waits for only those who congregate
I'd like to think that God is love,
He's down below, he's up-above
He's watching people everywhere, he knows who does and doesnt care
And I'm an ordinary man, sometimes I wonder who I am...
But I believe in love, i belive in music, i belive in magic... and i believe in you...."

Yes, I believe in music..I believe in music...After a long..long time, music happy again...and a voice inside sings along with the soulful Doors~

"When the music's over, turn off the light...
Music is your special friend, dance on fire, it intends,
Music is your only friend ~ until the end......"

Getting tingled in the soul and riding on a high of music.......Time for another tea......!

A simple act of love...

Valentine day just went by...a day when everyone thinks about love and ways to show their affection for their loved ones. Most of my couple/married friends had elaborate plans ~ movies & shopping with their partners, dining at fancy restaurants, buying and giving expensive gifts, perfules, diamonds, flowers, soft toys, heart shaped stuff, chochlolates etc, etc. At times I feel the basic concept of Valentine's day had got lost in all the galm and glitz that goes around it. Small significant acts speak much more than all this splurging of money to show that you care.

What I did and felt on this day is another story, but something that my dad did yesterday touched me and made me reconsider my present shaky stand on love. My dad is a very simple person, who though a very warm hearted and loving person is not very used to displaying his affection openly. This year for the first time in 22 years of my parents' married life, he got a rose for mom for valentine's day! He came back from work on his usual time, he got the medicines that mom had asked for, and got a pink rose, which without any ado he handed it to mom, wished her a happy valentine day.

It was a beautiful pink rose, mom was quite suprised and very happy, mainly because it was completely unexpected and also because after all these years of marriage, dad took this effort to display his affection with something that he knows mom loves a lot. This act was even more significant because doing something like this is quite out of his natural behaviour, but still he did it.

The simple pink rose is standing gracefully on our dining table and everytime I pass from there I am reminded of the happiness on mom's face when she received the rose and the simple, child-like pride on dad's face to see mom happy.

This small episode between of Valentine's day between my dad and mom touched my heart and made me re-realise the importance of simplicity things in life...