Thursday, January 10, 2008

Can you be in love with two people at the same time?

Was talking to a friend recently. We started talking about relationships and he popped a question in front of me ~ "Can a person love two people at the same time?" My first and natural response was "Yes, there can be certain situations in which a person can love two people at the same time." He was a little speculative for a moment and then we started talking about other things.

But after that, my mind started working on this thought. I did answer in the affirmative to my friend, but then when I started thinking about it deeply, I started seeing some issues to be explored in this thought. If you love two people at the same time, where would your loyalties lie? what would become of your mental and emotional faithfullness? Which person's expectations would you fulfill ?

At the same time, I was also thinking that if you have had feelings of love for someone at one point of time, does it mean that you have to make a wall around you and not let anyone else's love touch you ? Love has never been not about possessing. It is a spontaneous feeling which takes birth in your heart for someone by itself. It defies all control, rules, logic and any benefit/loss equations.

So then, what is the right perspective? I was thinking over it and suddenly found the key thing ~
A person maybe/can be in love with two people at a time. Time, situation, events can lead to a
situation where he feels the same emotions for two people at the same time, the intensities though may vary. But the important thing here is, that even though the person is having feelings of love for both the people, he cannot be behaving in the same way to both the people. He cannot be expecting the same things from both the people. He cannot be doing the same things for both the people. He can have love for both the people, but he cannot have the same relationship with two people. So essentially, the basic love can be same, but the extension of that love to the two people should be different. One relationship has to take precedent over the other. Difficult though, but he has to make this choice of expression ~ if not for anybody, then for his own peace, truth and the purity of love that he has inside him.


Akash Banerjee said...

yes, its very much possible and it does happen...more than we commonly believe.

the human mind in its natural state is polygamous...but societal pressures and 'morals' keep us mostly monogamous ... however there are special circumstances - like when you move on to a new relationship (without a clear and decisive break from the previous one) - then you compare and eventually long for both the persons...

no one person is perfect - that is why some qualities of one appeal to us - while the qualities of the 'other' also attract us...

duality of emotions happens - but is best avoided ;-)

Jagriti said...

hi akash, first of all thanks for dropping by :)

and yeah agree with u on how this duality of emotion arises... something that one cannot control, even if one wants to...

isnt it funny how love being the most basic and most natural emotion is still the most complicated and scantily understood by us...!

The Super Unknown said...

A very strong and deep expression.
Debatable.. yes..
Possible.. yes..
Ethical.. possibly not
Outcome.. irreparable damage..


Aanshi said...

well written jagriti.. :)
i shall say that ther is either zero or one in any binary logic, the guy cant live with that 0.5 dats signal..this would be relevant to "aar ya paar" sort of situation.. its not only abt his peace of mind but about the peace of mind of those two whom he loves.. he cant keep either of one wrapped around his fingers, so waht if the intensity and the form of love varies..[:o]they are not puppets.
could say even more but i thought so much on it that it wont fit here..
neways, good work, keep bloggong..[:)]

Jagriti said...

thanks for dropping by aanshi.. :)

agree with your thoughts on this....there is no 0.5 in the binary logic and playing with two peoples feelings is the worse thing a person can do to those he claims to love...that is why i had concluded that even if situations leads to a point where a person feels 'love' for two people at the same time, the inner love need not be displaced for anyone of them, but the way he 'is' with both of them should be different. The 'inner love' can stay for both (coz how can you crush a flower that you have nurtured pouring yourself into it ...?? ) but i believe that he cannot be involved romantically with both ~ like you said he cannot be keeping either of them wrapped around his finger....

maybe we'll discuss more over it sometime :)

smart said...

I strongly agreed with u on the issue u hv mention. I m very much plesed with the tought u hv I dont know much about you but can say that u hv beutiful imagination, creativity n deep thinking on the subject. love that, and respect that you may not be the age of mine but ur thinking is simly superbs and it it reflect on ur thought and on ur images you hv put it on ur blog i m new user of blog so it might be possible that i may not serch all deta of yous but will try to keep my self in touch. let me tell you i like all the idea and thoght you hv put on.

Anonymous said...

This is late night or early morning maybe,, and i am giving such unusual things a thought,, googling is my hobby and so found ur blog,, it just describes so many things in my head right now,, I can associate myself so closely to a situation like this,, and trust me, it is very painful,, too brainclogging,,

But decision making is the trait that decides the firmness of the person in such a situation,,

Well I am sure I hav more to say,, but hope is the best hope so far,,

Jagriti said...

@ anonymous: u r right, decision making decides the firmness of the person and his feelings...wishing u luck with ur situation..

"Earth wind and rain and fire,
Wealth power love desire,
One goal to live for before we die,
One taste of glory,
One mouthful of sky..."