My chilli plant is flourishing...

.......and I'm loving it !

It had started off with this ~

To this ~

Then this ~

And finally, this ! ~

Oh, the pleasure of having witnessed and played a role in the wonderful phenomenon of how nature creates bounty..! A few miunte seeds getting transformed into a plant which produces chillies more than the need of our whole family... and the joy of using fresh-from-the garden chillies for meals...! It is something..!

If interested, let me know, I can parcel you some fresh from my garden..! :)

The Rising...

Rising from within is a voice,
A sermon, a call,
To the winds of the storm
Of the raging seas...
"Come to me oh gigantic waves,
Rise and engulf me in your doom.
Crush me and break me
To pieces infinite,
And then ~
From each fragment,
Let loose a melody,
Of a lonesome shepherd's flute,
Resonating in the meadows and reaching the skies.
Let those notes then
Merge with your vigour
And my shattered elements,
And let the world see~
Rising out of the havoc,
A form ~
Of the spirit of the fire
And rhythm of the soul,
Defying your might,
And rising to the unfathomed skies..."

He LIVED...

......till the day he died.

This is an ode to the man whom I used to call my dadaji (grandpa).

A month back he left us forever. He was 87, but had the spirit of a young man till the very end. He lived a full life and died a peaceful death.

Here are a few glimpses from his life and his last days with us...

His daily pooja...no matter what he would never break his routine of his daily prayer...

In the last days he had become physically very weak...so could not go out for strolls in the evening...so rather than doing nothing about it, he found a way out ~ he would sit in the parking area of the building every evening. Sitting there, he would chat with the people of the society he knew, reflect, have some fresh air and then come back as it would begin to get dark. Every evening as I would return from work, he would be sitting there, and wave at me. Now, as I return from work, I know that he would never be there with his smile and his wave.

A whole life lived, things collected and cherished...

But when it is time to go, you leave behind everything as your memory for your loved ones...

His whole world was in his cupboard...everthing from a safety pin to medicines to clothes to calender...everything that he would need in his daily life was there, neatly arranged in his cupboard.

Dadaji, the emptiness created by your absence will never be filled... But you will keep on living in our hearts always...

Let the light fill up our lives

~ DIWALI ~

The festival of lights...

May it bring everlasting moments of ~

Happiness and Peace,


Love and Togetherness,

For you and your family.

May there be peace and light inside and outside..

Wishing you all a "Shubh Deepawali"

I bond with the moon...

The moon is peeping through my window flooding the dark corners of my room and my heart. Its feels enchanting...especially today, as it holds a special significant, today being the 'Karva Chauth' night ~ the festival which celebrates the love and sacrifice of the relationship of a husband and wife. 'Karva' means clay pot and 'chauth' means fourth night after the full moon. The wife fasts the whole day without food or water for the long life of her husband. She breaks her fast only after moonrise. At moonrise she sees the moon through a sieve and then sees her husband's face through the same sieve, and only then does she take her first water sip of the day. The couple then lovingly eat food together.

The whole feel of the festival is fascinating and very romantic...loving someone so much that you sacrifice food and even water for a whole day to celebrate the love, togetherness and devotion to each other. And as the day enters into night, the couple waits together for the moon to rise and shower its moonlight on them for the bonding of the two souls...

Looking at the 'chauth' moon peeping in my room, I think of all this and imagine the happiness it must have spread tonight by peeping into hundreds of windows and balconeys where couples must be waiting patiently in love and togetherness for it to engulf them in its silver beams...

While I sit alone in my room, particularly aware of my loneliness, I wonder why is the moon peeping at my window tonight, when all there is in here is me, with no story of how I fasted the whole day and no face to see through the sieve and wishing that I had that special someone to get engulfed in this moonlight with. I keep looking at the beautiful moon and suddenly as if to answer my question, the moon shines just a little brighter, as if to say ~ "So what if there is no one? I am there in the sky, always with you...you just have to look". I smile back and engulf myself in that heavenly glow of the silver beams ~ and to celebrate the beauty, love and all that this day signifies, I bond with the moon.

Of fear and faith

21st September 2009 ~ a date i will always remember, as the day when i went through the very first surgery of my life ~ a surgery to remove two tumors (dermoids) from my pelvic region. One 8 cm in diameter ~ around the size of an orange, just above my left ovary and other 3 cm in diameter above my right ovary. The medical term is bilateral ovarian dermoid. The operation was done by laproscopy and lasted for 2 hours.

Discovering these two dermoids was an incidental, chance discovery. Since they were not causing any pain or discomfort in the area, I never had any reason to suspect their existence. The doctors said the dermoids are congenital...so I cant say for how long I must have been carrying these in my body! It was as if they werent existing at all....but all the while they were there, silent, potentially dangerous, and in a rare possibility ~ malignant.

Lots of confirmatory tests followed the chance discovery ~ specialized sonography, MRI, consultations with the experts, seeking second opinions, discussions and then the final conclusion that the dermoids had to be surgically removed and the sooner the better. So, well, it had to be operated that was once fact. And the other was that I was damn scared..!

Another reason to worry was that since one of the dermoids (above the left ovary) was very big (8 cm) the doctors were of the opinion that they might have to completely remove one ovary ! ~ the thought was scary.

And the last but not the least ~ I believe that I have a very low pain threshold ~ at least for physical pains.

Given all this, going through the operation was a lesson for me ~ to face my fear and to learn to have faith on the almighty.

I just read the following lines in walking man's recent post ~

KNOW NO FEAR.

There is only one decision to be made as time runs out.
Is this something I can control or something beyond my control?
Act accordingly, aware of your decision.

And I can so relate to it, since that is what I had done. Evaluated the situation as something that I cannot control, and then decided to leave everything into those hands which could control it ~ the hands that bring us into this world and the hands that take care of us in this world. So the day before the operation I put all my apprehensions and fears into His hands, and folded mine in a silent prayer for strength and blessings.

With His grace and the blessings of my parents, family and friends, the operation went well without any complications. I did not panic while entering the operation theatre and in the few moments under the operation lights, just before they put me to sleep with anasthesia, I could feel an inner strength and a hear a voice from my inside which said~ everything will be fine.

.

.

.

My both ovaries reamined intact. The biopsy report of the dermoid showed no malignancy.

And in the post-operative days the pain has been bearable and the recovery good. I've resumed work from today!

.

.

.

.
.

I guess this post does have some medical mumbo-jumbo, but I wanted to share my experience with you all, and to thank the almighty and my family and friends for their love and support throughout.

Sailing into the dawn

The night is now,

Was then,

But wont be, forever.

I think this, and wait

For,

Sailing into the dawn.